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OK, let’s be clear. I mean people who think becoming an NLP ‘practitioner’ is going to give them an advantage in business, without understanding the depth of the issues at play in so-called Neuro Linguistic Programming, or cognitive behavioural therapy, or any other ‘technique’ designed to ‘alter’ or ‘enhance’ either your own state of mind or confidence levels or the state of mind of those around you.

Behavior Engineering and programming psychology

Behavior Engineering and programming psychology (Photo credit: HikingArtist.com)

I mean those people who have substituted technique for authenticity. Those people who would rather employ something that they read in a book versus the evidence of their own eyes and ears and human ability to interact with others.

Here’s why:

People sense technique. And its off-putting, it smacks of a lack of sincerity. Even when the opposite might be the case, and you are desperately trying to demonstrate your integrity, inexpert handling of some of these ideas comes off as basic manipulation or a snake oil sales style.

Clark Stanley's Snake Oil Liniment. Before 1920.

Clark Stanley’s Snake Oil Liniment. Before 1920. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Then, they won’t let on. It’s rude to accuse someone else of ‘techniquing’ you. So they won’t mention it. It will just go into the mental card file on you that everyone you meet holds about you. ‘Slightly strange’ or a ‘bit smarmy’ are typical assessments in this scenario.

Every time you think you got away with it. You didn’t. Related to the above. Every time you slip up, or make a mistake or you outright fib, then later get caught out in a fib, its noted. You didn’t blag it. You didn’t talk your way out of it. Your card is marked.

You are not ‘smooth’. You didn’t persuade anyone with your sheer charm and charisma, as much as you like to think you did. Most sales people sell despite themselves. They bought it because they want your product or service more than they want the money it costs.

They need what you sell. So what ever nonsense you’ve been spouting in your sales calls has done nothing to dissuade them from buying from you or your company. Unless you are creating value from a position of no prior value or awareness you are not strictly selling, you are order taking. And therefore you are not successful in your endeavours to sell. It’s more luck than judgment.

You’ll only blow it once. Being fake, or insincere, or worse – attempting to demonstrate that you aren’t those things through some sort of half arsed technique you once read about will only get you one sale. When it falls over, or doesn’t deliver the goods, or fails to reach the intended target market, you wont get another chance.

Most clients are happy to gamble. Once. Not having a deep understanding of your product and therefore not having the ability to deliver a genuine solution to your client will result in a failed relationship. They’ll usually give it a go if it sounds at all reasonable. All entrepreneurs and most business people are risk takers by nature. But they are not stupid. You get one go to show them what you’ve got. Best make it work first time.

Love is all you need. Caring about the client and their problems is far more powerful than demonstrating your empathy through mirroring techniques. If you really really want this to work for them, because you are passionate about your product and passionate about getting results for your client, that will shine through. Don’t let anything get in the way of that passion. Let it out. In all its unfettered glory!

Be Authentic – A-u-t-h-e-n-t-i-c. Be honest. To a fault. In every single interaction with your clients and your prospects. And your colleagues for that matter. Make it your default position. You will never ever go wrong, and never ever need fear catching yourself coming back.

Be yourself. Assuming you are presentable and can string a sentence together in a coherent way, just relax. Please. All people want is a solution to their problems. They don’t want some sort of super slick sales type or alpha account manager who’s super assertive or super anything else.

If your funny be funny. If not, don’t! If your nervous, that’s OK too, its genuine and interesting. I don’t need a friend I need someone who knows what they are talking about and someone I can talk to in confidence.

English: A candid shot of Scruffy McGee on the...

Would you buy a used car from this man? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Drop everything else, its superfluous to the equation. I don’t even need to get on with you, if you can offer what I need, or you can demonstrate the value in it.

Be honest at all times, act with integrity, love what you do and what you sell. Want to help people.

Thats all it takes.

What do you think? Can you see the point? Or am I missing a trick maybe? Let me know in the comments below!

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